loveitmuch

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 14:59:22 GMT

I LOVE ANTHONY JOSEPH REY SWAIM
NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME NOW
HE IS ALL I HAVE AND ALL I NEED

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 04:56:00 GMT

this video is so hard for me to watch you have no idea
i miss him SO much
ily big steffi

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:57:32 GMT

"You have to understand that everything we have is meaningless, unless we truly know where we stand. This isn’t just for show but some may never see the limitless potential within you and me. If you can’t find the words, maybe there’s nothing left to say. Remember that this world still spins regardless of your decisions. So make them count, don’t lie to yourself. This life’s too fucking short to be someone else. One breath at a time, I’ll live day to day, and the things that mean the most could never be explained." -Life Long Tragedy

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:03:02 GMT

i miss my ajrs
fuck

bummed

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 15:00:29 GMT

im done trying to win him over
cause obviously its not working

they say he likes me
but I don't even see it

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 06:09:39 GMT

I want a boy who wants me back

uhh

Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:01:33 GMT

well. I hope I'm not over reacting
But I don't wanna mess up a good thing
So all I can do is take a deep breath and tell myself
just take it slow

movies!

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 05:55:17 GMT

i don't understand what I did wrong
I guess it wasn't supposed to be then

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 07:44:43 GMT

I've noticed that I try and find songs that represent what I'm thinking at that very moment. I actually am doing a very good job at it.

My life is going very smooth right now and I am really enjoying it

thats basically all I have to say.

ohhh and I LOVE waking up to Jamie's messages every morning. It puts a smile on my face before I go to school.

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 22:09:54 GMT

i still think about you but i could never take you back
this dream died the day you killed it
and it was something that i'll never have again
but at least i still have my crew
to pick me up and help me to forget you
if it was up to you, bitch, i'd be miserable

bishop

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 07:48:25 GMT

You're wasting your breath by saying that you've changed
When the only thing that's different is you don't look the same.

Your day has come and gone and everyone knows your name
In cities far and wide, play that game
You're still the fucking same

After all these years you've never learned right and wrong
All the time spent on you, any hope for you is gone

Don't speak. Don't open your fucking mouth
Just save your breath, you're full of shit and no one cares.
No one cares about you

You haven't changed, you never will.
You're still the whore you've always been.
You're an empty glass waiting to be filled.
Old Habits die Hard

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 06:14:00 GMT

you got my head spinning heart beating outta my chest
I'm a sucker for lovers

plain fun

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 05:33:21 GMT

I'm home once again bored outta my mind. I was thinking to myself...hmmm what should I do? So I sat down and now I'm writing this. Fun stuff riiight?

Well, first off I'm happy with where I am in my life right now. No more Anthony BULLSHIT. I like someone. =D That's my favorite feeling in the world, butterflies. The butterflies when he texts me, when we talk on the phone, or even when I even THINK about hanging out with him. Oh man it's awesome. He is so amazing...he makes me feel good and thats all that matters. So keep it up boy ;]

Jessica and Dustin came home this weekend and I had so much fun! Jessica and I have the time of our lives when we are together. First off we talk about EVERYTHING that is going on in our lives. we talk hours upon hours about anything and everything. The fun all started Saturday. We took her mom to work at 10 then we drove to the Ihop in la quinta area. We meet Shay there and had an amazing breakfast. (splinter splinter splinter!) But then Shay got pulled over on our way to her house. The ticket was for unsafe lane change. I felt so bad for her. But then Jessica and I went to the mall and looked for a dress for winter ball. I found one that I really want it 90 bucks. I'll get the money I hope.

On the way to the mall we were dancing to all kinds of music, from country to hip hop. We even danced to Rod Stewart. I think that was one of the funnest car ride. Cause we didn't car who saw us. After the mall we went to the beauty school and got info for Jessica cause she is moving home in two weeks! YAYYY! So then we went and looked at the house her mom is buying. Jessica and Paisley get the front room. But the house is beautiful! Too bad it's all the way in fucking La Quinta. It's better than Arizona I guess. When we got home she did my nails. she was hurting me left and right. It was all worth it though, cause they look good. When Jessica and I went back home Jake, Erika, Dustin, and my mom and dad were there. All but my dad sat at the kitchen table and talked for like 4 hours. Oh man we laughed so much! but that was basically my Saturday.

Today I didn't have to work so my brother and I went to yucca valley to return the trailer to my papas house. We were bumpin that shit the whole way there. He was dancing it was priceless haha.

I'm actually tired of typing so I'll post again later maybe

ps jamie rocks my socks :D

Sat, 19 Jan 2008 02:45:39 GMT

i miss talking to jamie

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 05:05:17 GMT

I'm thinking too many things at once

I hate being bored cause then I think too much =/

MUSIC it's totally my thing. I love it all country hip hop rock metal hardcore pop punk anything you throw at me I'll prolly like. It's my therapy for EVERYTHING I have been going through these past couple months.

THOUGHTS I don't even know dude.

I'm totally over this whole lj thing

I'm just gonna go lay in bed and wait for jamies text <3

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 02:03:25 GMT

I wish I could write lyrics like these:

Now that we have said goodbye
don't try and fix it up again.
It's my fault that you can't stand a thing i do.
And don't lie cause we know that you want too.
Now i can't seem to comprehend
how the things that you're saying is not what you meant at all.
Because last time i checked
these so called "friends"
were your "friends till the very end".

And now i know that i have made big plans
and i have said big things that i've pulled out of my head.
But these sins are kept in a lot
and have been kept it all,
now a handful is all thats left.
Can you just look at how things were
and how they are right now?
And please just tell me that i am right.
Just tell me why it's so hard for you to be wrong for once in your life

genius

school

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 23:36:17 GMT

what I thought about at school today:

mixed emotions

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 01:26:05 GMT

I wish I was on my way to Yuma right now. For two reasons there are SO many good bands playing tonight and he is gonna be there which would make me really happy to see. I can't believe he offered to give me money to go! It was one of the sweetest things but I just can't do that. I love how I can always talk to him.

My mom and I just got into a fight and its hurting me really bad to see her cry about it. I told her how I feel and then she cried some more. She finally realized that I need to make my own decisions and I'm glad she did that. I love her way tooo much to see her cry but she needs to see where I am coming from and she wont see it till I tell her

On a good note I have a job...well more than one. I don't know where I am going to choose. I went to orientation today at hollister and I am actually pretty excited about it.

thats basically it for now

ughhhh

Sun, 13 Jan 2008 07:54:01 GMT

he is being forced on me like nothing else ever has. I havn't even been pressured to drink or do drugs as bad as this, and honestly I hate it! why can't i make my own decisions with out anyone telling me what I should or shouldn't do. I'm my own person and I should be able to think for myself right? Well I had a good night with him on thursday even though it was really weird for me. I never thought I would be back there so soon. I still don't know how I feel and I think it is because of the fact that she is CONSTANTLY pushing him on me. I feel like the more she pushes the further I wanna pull away. Something truly in my heart is telling me that he is only gonna change for a couple months then it will all be back at square one. Not necessarily the drugs it's the mood change I am worried about. He said he loves me and will do anything to get be back, but how long is that gonna last? just until he gets me back and then he is gonna stop trying or what? I dunno I'm just worried about this whole thing

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 07:31:26 GMT

man oh man how i miss having a boyfriend.
yeah i do love hanging out with my friends all the time but its just not the same feeling as when i had him. i have talked to boys but nothing has clicked yet. i feel like I'm not good enough for some of the people i have been talking to but i dunno. i wish finding a boy was as easy as taking an order at a drive through window...Yes i would like a man about the age of 19, at least 5' 10 nice smile, tattoos plugs ok, sense of humor a must, no drugs of ANY kind, no smoking, drinking ok with a good taste in music. wow wouldn't life be wonderful? but no we have to go through jerks, liers, stuck-ups, and faggots. just to find the right one. and thats IF you ever find him. I can honestly say I have had good luck with boys but in the end it wasnt all that great. I think its cause i fall for them too fast. I don't know what it is but I just cant stay away from boys I just HATE being single but at the same time I love it cause I have NO restrictions to who I can or cant hang out with.

mind boggling

I just wish I could be happy

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 18:46:52 GMT

San Diego was kinda dumb...

ok it was really dumb there were only two really good things that happened
1. the night before we left when danielle and i were texting the utah guys and telling them "yeah we party too" haha and calling eli and him thinking we were high and the security guard knocking on our door...wow good night
2. then at sea world when i talked and got a number from the HOTTEST guy he was from Pennsylvania. too bad that all the way across the country haha so are there any good beauty schools in Pennsylvania? yeah right

besides that christmas was good got a lot of good things and spent some good quality time with my brothers and family. i really do miss them so much. they need to move back home. its not fair.

thats it for now =]

wish me luck

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 02:25:54 GMT

yet again another boy tells me we are hanging out and nothing happens. no call or anything. i would rather get a call saying he couldn't hang out rather than nothing at all. but when he reads the message saying... hey let me know if we are still on for tonight and he doesn't respond hurts gayyy. it just doesn't make sense why do boys do that? so they like hurting my feelings?its been more than one too. ugh i really hope i get to know the other one better cause he is REALLY cute... to bad he lives in San Marcos. i don't think i can do long distance relationships. hmm i dunno but I'm having fun living life. but at the same time its hard cause i know that i DONT have someone to go home to every night and call my own. he came over and dropped all my shit off. I'm glad he doesn't have to think of my anymore. did he really have to be a dick about it? i think not. why was he asking my parents what they wanted for Christmas anyway? he has no right talking to them now that we are no longer together or even speaking for that matter.

i really hope he has a legit excuse

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 06:22:15 GMT

i think its so funny how he can go and do anything he wants now. he doesn't have any distraction anymore...nobody holding him back. he has been talking bout all this stuff he has been wanting to do and now he can do it... hahaha...just laugh thats all i can do now is laugh.

well my life is going good though...meeting new people (not by going to parties) just having FUN my senior year of high school. i love talking to my little oreo cause he makes me feel amazing. =] i know what some of my loved ones are saying but i don't care im gonna talk to him no matter what cause i like it... alot! i love how i have so much more time on my hands...i can go and hang out with danielle and even kevin and adam at almost anytime of the day. they make me so friggin happy =]]]

many many new friends cause i have a free spirit and i like it. and apparently so does he! haha making arrangments to hang out with my new peeps and hopefully all goes well...

i havn't been on here for a while and now im venting

it feels amazing thanks livejournal hah

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 04:41:42 GMT

i love jessica!

and her tie dye checks

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 23:51:43 GMT

I GOT TIE DYE CHECKS TODAY!!!!

so excited